Be the Community You Wish to See
This entry, my dear weavers, is an example of so many modes of healing I have written about on this blog before — all happening in real life, and all at once.
This weekend, I had the pleasure of attending a Ladies of Steam event: a hands-on day centered around steam power, historic machinery, preservation, and, most importantly, women teaching women in trades from which they were historically excluded.
If you have followed this blog for a while, you may already know that I have a bit of a fascination with trains and steam power. A few months ago, after seeing Union Pacific’s Big Boy, I wrote about the idea that, oftentimes, your “weird” is your why. The niche interests that light something up inside of you don’t necessarily need to make sense to everybody else. Often, following those interests leads us down a path of greater alignment with our truest Selves.
Ladies of Steam feels like a living example of that.
Nicole, who co-founded Ladies of Steam over a decade ago, told me about growing up with sincere interest in steam engines while also having uncomfortable and unwelcoming experiences in spaces largely dominated by older men.
The Ladies of Steam instructors. 📸PC: Ladies of Steam.
A lot of women know some version of that feeling.
You are interested. You want to learn. You know you belong there intellectually, creatively, professionally, or simply because you love the thing; but the environment makes you question whether there is actually room for you.
Nicole wanted somewhere she could grow her knowledge without having to constantly negotiate that feeling.
So, she helped create it.
When Ladies of Steam started its Facebook page, Nicole told me that, within about a week, women from around the globe had joined the page.
What struck me most during the event was what happened because that space existed. I felt more comfortable asking questions about steam than I ever had before. Nothing felt like a test of whether I knew enough to deserve to be there. Curiosity was enough.
And once people feel safe enough to be curious, really cool things can happen.
One of the young women who drove us in a Case 5/8 replica, Isabelle, actually began her own journey in steam through a Ladies of Steam event. Nicole described moments like this as the fruit of the work. Her job, as she sees it, is planting seeds. I loved that metaphor — especially coming from an agricultural engineer.
You create an opportunity. You make knowledge accessible. You encourage someone. You invite them closer instead of making them prove they belong. Most of the time, you cannot know exactly what will grow from it.
But sometimes, years later, the woman who once showed up wanting to learn is the one operating the engine.
Lady of Steam, Isabelle, operating the 5/8 Scale Case which took us for a spin around the yard. 📸PC: Small Town Steam.
In social work, we talk about person-in-environment: the understanding that people do not develop, struggle, or heal separately from the environments in which they exist. I saw that concept playing out beautifully here.
Sometimes empowerment is not about teaching someone to tolerate an unwelcoming environment better. Sometimes, it means showing them how to create their own environment.
There is an old expression about making sure everyone has a seat at the table. In more recent feminist conversations online and in person, I have seen an evolution of that idea that I love even more: if there is no seat at that table for you, maybe you build another table — and invite the other people who were never given a chair either.
Ladies of Steam is one of those tables.
Steam Engine 16 at the Historic East Broad Top Railroad in Rockhill, PA. 📸PC: Small Town Steam.
And here's something else I noticed: once you intentionally create community around one thing, the conversations rarely stay confined to that one thing.
Yes, we talked about steam.
We also talked about feminism. Farming. Horses. Child-rearing. Careers. Life coaching. Property ownership. Relationships. Future goals. The things people care about begin weaving together because community gives them the space to hold these conversations.
The importance of this cannot be overstated.
At Rewoven Life Coaching ✨, I spend a lot of time with people thinking about what they want their lives to look like and what the next right step might be. Sometimes the vision feels enormous to my clients — Starting a business. Changing careers. Building a community. Becoming someone you are not quite sure how to become yet.
But communities like Ladies of Steam remind me that you rarely begin with the finished thing. You plant a seed.
Maybe your table starts as a Facebook page.
Maybe it starts at your actual kitchen table.
Maybe, for now, there is only one chair. That still counts.
Get clear about what matters to you. Understand your why. Take the next right step. Then another…then another still.
You may be surprised by who eventually pulls up a chair.
So, I will leave you with this:
Be the community you wish to see.
The participants and instructors of the 2026 East Broad Top Railroad Ladies of Steam event. 📸PC: Ladies of Steam.
Looking for support on your own journey?
You don't have to figure it all out alone. At Rewoven Life Coaching, I offer a compassionate, judgment-free space to explore where you are, where you want to be, and how to move forward in a way that feels authentic to you.
Book a free consultation to see if we're a good fit. I'd love to connect!
